Christmas is intended to be a season filled with peace and hope as we celebrate the birth of Jesus.  However, the true meaning of Christmas is easily overshadowed by all the promotion and commotion around us. We find ourselves preparing time for family, friends and festivities, but the pressure to get everything done can be overwhelming. Bickering relatives, year-end work demands and over-stimulated children, on top of a growing “to-do” list can test our patience and steal our peace.

For many, the weeks between Thanksgiving and New Years create more opportunities for anxiety to get a foothold than any other time of year.  But it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are 7 ideas to help you reduce stress and enjoy the upcoming season.

1. Make “to do” lists with clear priorities and set aside specific times to accomplish important tasks.  Because the holidays can be so hectic, make sure you always have a calendar on hand to ensure you don’t over schedule or over book yourself.  If you have a personal mission statement, refer to it often during this busy season. It can be a great help when setting boundaries and deciding what to say ‘no’ to.

2. Take good care of yourself. Remember to put YOU on your “to-do” list. Don’t abandon healthy habits or neglect your needs. The temptation to overindulge is heightened this time of year. Be sure to eat healthy, get plenty of rest and exercise. Making wise choices will give you more energy and you’ll feel better. 

3. Look for ways to make gift giving easier. Save time and money by shopping online. Avoid the hassle of crowded parking lots and shopping malls. Spending too much time at the mall leads to overspending and unnecessary purchases. If you prefer to support local businesses, consider giving gift cards.

4. Ask for help. So often, we think we have to do it all. Or we feel that we can do it faster and better than anyone else who might help. But it’s more fun to do things together—from decorating the house to wrapping presents. So share both the joy and the work. Consider which holiday tasks you could ask your spouse, relative, friend or even a child to take on.

5. Consider alternatives to family gatherings. If the thought of spending time with dysfunctional relatives has you feeling anxious, consider making alternate plans. Set boundaries. There is nothing wrong with wanting to eat Christmas dinner at another family member’s house this year instead of yours, or declining to host the annual New Year’s Day party. Breaking a long standing tradition will force someone else to take over, if he or she feels strongly about its preservation. Plan well in advance to avoid last-minute surprises.

6. Remember to play a little. Engage in activities that nurture you and kept you connected to the true meaning of Christmas.  This season can pass by in a blur of obligations so be sure to schedule time to enjoy loved ones.  Make a date to watch a favorite Christmas movie together or sing Christmas carols. Sharing quality time with the people you care about will help you stay connected with the true meaning of the season.

7. Celebrate all that God has done for you. Find a place to be quiet and prayerful, and go there often.  Christmas is all about possibility in the midst of the impossible. Not the kind of possibility that comes from our own knowledge, ability or positive mental attitude. It’s the possibility that comes solely from the fact that God is God, and that he chose to come into our own human existence, to reveal himself and call us to himself. 

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. Luke 2:14

Author’s content used under license, © 2011 Claire Communications

The practice of gratitude as a way to achieve happiness has been in the mainstream for years. Long-term studies support the effectiveness of gratitude, suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in work, greater health, peak performance in sports and business, a higher sense of well-being.

While we may acknowledge the gratitude’s many benefits, it still can be difficult to sustain. So many of us are trained to notice what is broken, undone or lacking in our lives. And for gratitude to meet its full healing potential in our lives, it needs to become more than just a Thanksgiving word. We have to learn a new way of looking at things, a new habit. And that can take some time.

It is God’s will for us to accept each day as it comes, remembering that He is sovereign over our lives.  Instead of regretting or resenting the way things are, He wants us to thank Him in all circumstances and trust that He is abundantly present in it all.

That’s why the practice of gratitude makes so much sense. When we discipline ourselves to give thanks for all we have, instead of complaining about what we lack, we give ourselves the chance to see all of life as an opportunity and a blessing.

Remember that gratitude isn’t a blindly optimistic approach in which the bad things in life are whitewashed or ignored. It’s more a matter of where we put our focus and attention. Pain and injustice exist in this world, but when we focus on the gifts God has given, we gain a feeling of well-being. Gratitude balances our perspective and gives us hope.

There are many things to be grateful for: colorful autumn leaves, legs that work, friends who listen and really hear, dark chocolate, ice cream, warm jackets, the ability to read, fresh roses, butterflies, our health. What’s on your list?

Some Ways to Practice Gratitude

•  Keep a gratitude journal in which you list things for which you are thankful. You can make daily, weekly or monthly lists. Greater frequency may be better for creating a new habit, but just keeping that journal where you can see it will remind you to think in a grateful way.

•  Include gratitude in your prayer life.

•  Practice gratitude around the dinner table or make it part of your nighttime routine.

•  Challenge yourself to find the hidden blessing in every difficult situation.
•  Create a gratitude collage by drawing or pasting pictures.

•  When you feel like complaining, make a gratitude list instead. You may be amazed by how much better you feel.

•  Notice how gratitude is impacting your life. Write about it, sing about it, express thanks for gratitude.

Gratitude is a beautiful recognition of the love and support that God continuously flows to you. As you practice this, an inner shift will begin to occur, and you will be delighted to discover how content and hopeful you feel. That sense of fulfillment is gratitude at work.

Author’s content used under license, © 2011 Claire Communications

As a leader tasked with making changes, you can expect to ruffle some feathers and run up against harsh opposition at times. This holds true in any environment, whether your place of work, worship or recreation. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Communicating a clear understanding of why change is needed and developing an awareness of your role will bring you a long way in building trust, collaboration and effectiveness.

For most people there is a natural tendency to resist change. We often perceive security in what is familiar. The idea of change can make us feel vulnerable. It’s much easier to remain complacent than to make changes that move us out of our comfort zone and into unknown territory.

However, in truth this rationale only provides a false sense of security. The world around us is dynamic, not static. Our survival depends on our ability to grow and adapt. I believe change was intentionally built into the very fabric of our existence by our Creator, making it not only necessary but crucial for our growth and progress. Without a willingness to embrace change we run the risk of becoming redundant or obsolete.

Effectively implementing change depends on the ability to influence and gain the trust of others. A good leader establishes a foundation for change by virtue of who they are. As you develop a style that embraces your natural attributes you will build trust, collaboration and effectiveness.

Authentic leadership

With your character as a source of inspiration and influence, people will trust you and be more willing to embrace your ideas. Your success is more a factor of who you are than what you do or the title you hold. It’s about being genuine and seeking the best for your whole organization, not just your own interests.

Your authenticity becomes apparent to others when you use your unique strengths and talents and stop trying to counterfeit others. As you build upon your unique gifts, your performance comes into alignment with how you were created. This empowers you to make a lasting impact.

Leading from a place of authenticity equips you to better serve the needs of others. In turn, people are more willing to respect, trust and follow you. As you give your best, others are motivated to do the same. Your relationships will improve, your message will be heard and your business will increase.

Leading through change

As you lead people through change, your approach and style matter. Here are some key characteristics of effective leadership.

1. Listen before being heard — Genuinely listen to others before expecting to be heard. When people feel their ideas and concerns are understood they will be more open to hearing what you have to say.

2. Communicate the need for change — Before you can effectively create change you must first clearly convey to others why the change is necessary. Don’t assume people already know.

3. Lead by example — Practice what you preach and be involved in the process. Gandhi taught that people need to be the change they wish to see in the world.

4. Involve and empower others — No man is an island. Lead from your strengths and empower others to do the same.

5. Keep a positive mindset — Negativity demotivates people and hampers innovation. With a positive attitude you will build enthusiasm and garner the support of others.

6. Provide affirmation and encouragement — Let people know you appreciate their contribution. Acknowledge the obstacles they are dealing with. A simple ‘thank you’ goes a long way.

You are the key to how successful change will be in your organization. If you have the desire for change, you already have what it takes. Honoring who you are is the best contribution you will make.

Coach’s challenge:

Consider your effectiveness as a leader. Are you leading from a place of authenticity? How well does ‘what you do’ and ‘how you do it’ align with ‘who you are’? What needs to shift?

While there may be good reasons for our reaction, it would certainly serve us better to redirect our attention. If we want change, we need to focus on how to develop effective teams and create ways to improve team performance.

Building a strong team starts with the individual. It begins with each person understanding their innate strengths and unique contributions, and appreciating the strengths and contributions of others. In Leading From Your Strengths (B&H Books, January 1, 2004), author John Trent describes three core principles necessary for building effective teams.

First, understand your God-given strengths and abilities. This is key for personal growth and finding the right role in which you are meant to serve.

Second, recognize and respect the strengths and abilities of the others on the team. This builds relationships, reduces frustration and minimizes conflict between team members.

Third, blending differences among team members while harnessing people’s unique strengths. This will result in greater effectiveness for your team.

A sense of belonging and commitment develops as each person begins to feel that they are part of something greater than themselves. This process occurs naturally as we understand and use our gifts. When we function in a role that plays to our strengths, we feel useful and appreciated rather than used or unnecessary.

According to Strengths Based Leadership (Gallup Press, January 2009), to be effective as a leader we need to know our strengths, invest in other’s strengths and assign people with the right strengths in the right roles. In team formation, it’s essential to assign members to roles which maximize their natural attributes and contributions. People perform best when they have an opportunity to do what they do best everyday.

When our work life is demanding, setting priorities at home can be difficult. We may find ourselves struggling between what we want to do, versus what we really should be doing. Or, we fall into procrastinating when the pressure’s off, and things just never get done. Whatever our individual challenges, to set effective priorities and stick to them, we need to first have a clear understanding of what matters most in our life.

You may recall a story about a seminar presenter who placed a wide mouth gallon jar on the stage. He filled it to the top with some large stones and asked the audience if it was full. To which they answered, “Yes!” Then the presenter added a handful of smaller rocks to the container. As the audience watched the smaller rocks fill the vacant space between the large stones, he asked the same question, “Is the jar full?” Catching on, the people responded, “No.” Next he added some sand, followed by water, until the entire volume of the jar was completely full.

I like this illustration for a couple reasons. First, it demonstrates that by making room for the large stones first, the smaller rocks, sand and water eventually work their way into space surrounding the larger stones. The order in which the contents are added to the jar is essential for everything to fit. In the same way, it becomes clear that ours lives will also benefit by first making space for the significant things, before taking care of the rest.

It’s hard to believe the holiday season is already upon us. With Black Friday and Cyber Monday behind us, Christmas will be here before you know it.

There are many things I enjoy about this time of year. Like the twinkling white lights strung from tree branches along the city streets and the glow of ornately decorated homes.  What an added treat when we get a light dusting of snow to brighten the ground.  No wonder it’s a favorite time of year for many.

However, if your life is anything like mine, you also know it can be the most stressful time of year.  No sooner do we clear the table after Thanksgiving and we’re off and running into the shopping madness.  The weeks following quickly fill with card writing, gift wrapping and party planning.

Just as our personal lives get busy this time of year, our work life can be just as hectic. All the year-end activity and deadlines often mean longer hours and added stress.  If we’re not careful, this season meant for joy and expectation will easily become a season of dread and despondence.

Before you find yourself overwhelmed with all you have to do, try following the advice of jolly old St. Nick.  Make yourself a list and check it twice, before the upcoming festivities throw you into a tail spin.

Making a list

Spend time now setting your expectations for the season.  Make a list of the important activities and traditions that you and your family want to enjoy. Your list should include family gatherings, company parties and other school or church events.  Will you be entertaining, shopping, decorating or baking?  Make sure you write it down.  As you work on your list, give some careful thought to the following question. What do I (we) want to experience during this holiday season that will make most meaningful? Write your response across the top of your list.

Checking it Twice

First, check your list to see that your expectations are realistic for the time you have available.  What can you reasonably manage in the weeks ahead? Consider your work schedule as well as your personal schedule.  How will you pace yourself and organize your time?  Go back to what you wrote across the top of your list. Now ask yourself: Which activities will (will not) support what I want to experience during this season? Decide which things can be eliminated and accept that you may not be able to do it all.

Second, check to see that your expectations are reasonable and within your budget.  With the struggling economy you may need to cut back. The stores are full of temptations.  Write down what you need to buy before you head for the malls and stick to your list.  Spend your money responsibly without racking up your credit cards. Try putting more focus on creating meaningful memories instead of things that yield short-term gratification.

As you embrace this joyful time of year, stay focused on the true meaning of the season. And most importantly, leave room to relax and enjoy time with family and friends. Wishing you and yours a blessed holiday season.

• One-third of Americans say, “I hate my job”.
• Two-thirds of us are in the wrong career.
• Others find employment success, but without satisfaction.
• Most suicides occur late on Sunday nights.
• Most heart attacks occur on Monday mornings.

So many people find themselves in jobs they dread. Job requirements don’t align with their skills and talents.  The work is not meaningful and there’s no passion.  Hours are inflexible, the work environment is unpleasant and the demands, unreasonable.

So what do you do if this is you? Look for a new job? Change careers? Go back to school?  These are all great ideas worth exploring, but not always a quick solution. Especially in this job market. And there are still bills to pay and obligations to meet.

In his book, Lucado suggests that before we change professions, we should first change our attitude toward our profession. The problem may be less the occupation and more our outlook toward it.  He also reminds us that “God’s eyes fall on the works of our hands”. Our work matters to God as much as our worship. After all, we are His servants in all we do. What would our workday be like if we worked as though we were working for God?  ”We are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works…” (Eph 2:10).  Not just on Sunday morning, but also on Monday morning.

We can’t always choose our circumstances but we can choose how we react to them.    We can work grudgingly or we can work gratefully. If your not happy in your job, try an attitude of gratitude. You will surprised at the shift it will bring for you and the people around you.

Pursuing a new career may still be the right choice. But in the mean time, take your job and love it.  With a positive attitude you will gain the clarity and the vision needed to move in the right direction.

The mission of Kairos is to bring Christ’s love and forgiveness to the incarcerated, their family and those who work with them; and to assist in their transition to becoming a productive citizen.

Last April, I had the opportunity to serve on a 3-1/2 day Kairos retreat weekend, at Beacon Women’s Correctional Facility, where twenty-four residents of the facility attended.  The weekend consisted of carefully coordinated talks, discussions, chapel meditations and music led by a team of dedicated volunteers.

With virtually no experience working with the incarcerated, I have to admit I wasn’t sure what to expect. But with an open mind and an obedient heart, God was able to show me incredible things. I witnessed an amazing transformation in these women from the time we arrived on Thursday evening to the time we left on Sunday.

Many came angry at God. One was isolated for many years, with a childhood lost due to past abuse.  Another was greatly weighted by her inability to keep from repeating the same destructive behaviors. What these women found through Kairos, was the unconditional love from a community of believers, who accepted them as they are. They began to see that the body of Christ is a very real thing, not just some theological imagery.  They received healing, forgiveness and hope for a new life in Christ.

The agape love (God’s love) that the women received, created a desire in them to continue their growth as Christians.  After the weekend, the residents were encouraged to form small Share Groups within the facility, where they could continue to pray for and support one another, creating on on-going ministry inside the prison walls.

The Kairos ministry holds weekend retreats at Beacon Correctional twice a year. The next weekend is Sept 30 through Oct 3 and I am excited to participate once again. Our team has been meeting weekly in preparation since the beginning of August.

Bringing God’s love and forgiveness into the prison is truly a blessing. Aside from serving on team, there are many ways to get involved. You can write letters of encouragement to the residents. You can sign up to pray for a ½ hour interval during the weekend. You can even bake cookies. Placemats and posters drawn by children are especially treasured by women who miss their own children. Monetary donations are also needed and appreciated.

I am passionate about this ministry because, I believe that no one is beyond hope. Change is possible, for all people, through a loving relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  If you want to know more about the Kairos Prison Ministry, please contact me. I am happy to share more with you.

Be blessed!

One thing I’ve noticed is that our vacations nowadays seem to include a full agenda packed with all sorts of activity.  We’re visiting family, going to weddings, exploring exotic destinations, standing in lines at amusement parks, checking out museums, setting up camp and participating in a variety of recreation.

While these activities can be quite enjoyable, and perhaps just what we need to distress from our busy lifestyle, too often we end up with the opposite result.  In our eagerness to plan a fun vacation, we easily run the risk of over scheduling our time.  In the same way we pack our children’s free time with a line-up of activities, there seems to be a similar trend to schedule our vacation time in the same manner. If we’re not careful, we become so busy during our time off, that we never get the chance to enjoy the downtime we so look forward to.

Anytime you exhaust yourself trying to relax, you’ve missed the whole point of vacation.  While it’s enjoyable to go places and do things during our time off, it’s also important to slow the pace, kick back and make time to do nothing once in a while.

I know how tempting it is to create a fun packed vacation schedule, especially if you’re visiting a place with lots to see and do.  As a working parent with limited vacation time, I’ve been guilty of over scheduling our family vacations. I would make it my goal to take advantage of all there was to offer once we arrived at our vacation destination.  While we certainly were able to see and do a lot, the hectic schedule would increase our stress and we often returned home more exhausted than when we left.  Not exactly the result we were after.

If you’ve ever felt like you needed a vacation from your vacation, it’s probably a good time to refocus on the reason why you’re taking one.  Vacation is not merely a luxury; it’s an essential part of our mental and physical wellbeing.  If your everyday life is overscheduled, it’s especially necessary to include downtime in your vacation planning.  Our time away from home and work is a much needed opportunity to break away from our regular routines to refresh, refuel and re-energize.

Vacation is also an opportunity to spend quality time with the people who are important to us.  While some structure is helpful for family and group outings, we need to allow enough flexibility in our schedules so we can actually enjoy time spent together.

So go ahead with your plans to visit that favorite vacation destination and make time for the activities you enjoy.  Just remember that your time away should leave you feeling rejuvenated and energized.  Choose your activities wisely.  Be sure to eat right and get enough sleep. And most importantly, kick back and relax when you need to.

Getting what you want in life or at work takes persistence and resolve.  The key is not to let yourself get derailed whenever things don’t go as smoothly as you hoped.  Creating a clear understanding of the barriers that slow you down is a necessary step if you want to move beyond them.  Let’s take a closer look at the two main types of barriers which typically get in our way.

External Barriers

Most of us have little trouble identifying the external barriers we come up against.  They come in the form of people, events or circumstances that slow our progress.  They may also show up as a lack of resources, time or money which make it difficult to gain momentum.

In most cases, external barriers are outside our span of control.  Unfortunately, this rarely stops us from putting non-constructive attention on our problems rather than focusing on a workable solution.  Putting too much focus on the problem drains our energy and causes us to lose motivation.  When we hold on tightly to obstacles outside of our control, we stifle any possibility for creative options to reveal themselves.

While we usually can’t control the people and circumstances in our lives, we can control the way we respond to them.  Shifting our focus on what we can do and what we do have control over, encourages us to think positively and explore new possibilities.

Internal Barriers

Internal obstacles are more common and perhaps the most difficult to identify.  These come in the form of self-limiting beliefs, thoughts and behaviors which undermine our confidence and distract us from taking action.  They are often self-imposed roadblocks caused by old belief systems, habitual thought patterns and automated emotional responses.  Listed below are few of the most common types of internal barriers.

• Old Habits: Most of us tend to work in habitual ways.  Like the way we respond to frustrations or the approach we take with a new project.  Even when these patterns no longer work efficiently, we still employ them because they’re so familiar to us.

• Resistance to change: The nature of change requires us to relinquish something familiar and replace it with something that is unknown.  This alone can make us feel threatened or insecure no matter how beneficial the change may be.

• Fear of failure: Moving out of our comfort zone can be scary. Fear is a normal emotion and it’s important to acknowledge its root.  If we look closely, we’ll notice that our fear usually exists to protect us from a perceived threat, often stemming from a fear of failure, disappointment or rejection.  This kind of fear keeps us from taking reasonable risks that are necessary for our growth.
• Negative mindset: It’s important to notice the negative self-talk and silent conversations we have with ourselves on a daily basis.  Conversations on why we can’t accomplish something, how life is unfair, how we don’t have time, how no one believes in us, how we’re not good enough, don’t know enough or have enough.  Sound familiar?  These become our emotional stories and we comfortably rely on them as excuses for not taking action.

As we become more aware of our habitual patterns, self-limiting beliefs and emotional stories, their power over us will begin to decrease.  We need to challenge our negative thinking, self-doubt and fear in order to live to our fullest potential.  Success is achieved by coming out of our comfort zone, taking calculated risks and moving into action.  We need to realize what is within our span of control, and let go of the things that are not.

Getting what we want in life takes persistence.  Barriers will block our progress from time to time, but we have a choice on how we’ll react to them.  We can choose to be proactive with our thoughts and actions and accept the learning and growth that come with the challenges.

“As long as we are persistent in our pursuit of our deepest destiny, we will continue to grow. We cannot choose the day or time when we will fully bloom. It happens in its own time.” ~Denis Waitley